Life in a Full House
By Phyllis Knox
As I look back at my formative years, I realize that so many events, both good and bad, stand out in my memory. Those events made me who I am today.
My family lived in a small three-bedroom wartime house here in Trois-Rivieres. The problem was that there were nine people living in that limited space.
Since there were four sisters, all four of us shared one bedroom and the three boys shared a smaller bedroom. Sound complicated? Was it ever!
We also shared a small kitchen and a small living room. I guess I learned to share!
Our dad was very demanding and very aggressive, and luckily, he was often out of town for work-related reasons. Those were, by far, the best of times!
Our wonderful and loving mother, Alice, was the absolute best mother possible. She would get up around 5:00am with a mission. She prepared porridge for us and got lunches ready for us to take to school. She did the best she could with limited finances. We each got a peanut butter sandwich(white bread only) and a banana as well as a thermos full of cold juice. No surprises EVER, although we did hope there would be! Then, she would feed our dog Terry, braid our hair, help us to finish the homework which we had “forgotten” to do the evening before!
She would always have a big smile on her face as she so happily waved goodbye to us, as we all walked to the bus stop. She then had 6 or 7 hours of free time to put in three or four wash loads and hang everything outside on the clothesline (winter, summer, spring and fall). Then, she ironed and made or changed our beds. Then, was the time to prepare the ingredients for the fabulous meals she was able to put together with a minimum of ingredients. That is when she washed and dried the morning dishes and set the table for supper.
The seven of us reacted quite differently to our environment. I thought that I might take a completely different route and live in the countryside by myself with a cat!
Our father, Tom, was the disciplinarian (he loved it). In winter, he shovelled the snow in the driveway and cut the grass in summer and read Le Nouvelliste (his job was done...end of story).
As a child and then as a teenager and then, into my twenties and decades beyond, I have often asked myself if our family setup was FAIR. Who had decided who did what and when it would get done?
Today, I understand the world a whole lot better. There are the Givers and there are the Takers. We each (with any kind of luck) decide what is right for us. We use our talents and our aspirations to find our own happiness. My two grown daughters bring me so much happiness, and their five children fill my life with joy and pride, and they have given me a reason to be HERE.
I did finally find a life that eventually was FAIR, a life where I could find a balance between work and play, family & social life as well as respect & honesty in my own daily choices!
An important detail about my mom that I would like to add to my rant is her fabulous generosity. She could see a problem or a need and instead of walking away, she would run right into the fire solving the matter ASAP.
One situation that I remember so well was her involvement in both our church and our school. She and her like-minded friends and neighbours became members of the PTA (Parent/Teacher Association) as well as the CWL (Catholic Women's League). They prepared rummage sales in the church basement, picnics, dances and much much more. The plan was to collect money to provide help for students and/or parishioners. I would watch her and I can honestly say that I was astonished by her enthusiasm! I was also proud of her and wanted to be "just like her when I grew up."
As busy years came and went, I managed to find my place in the circle of life. Just as my mother had found winter coats, boots and school supplies etc. for my siblings and for me at those sales, I also saw a need to find my way to help others.
In joining forces with our leader Gina, I found a way to do my part in my own circle. Three Rivers Academy graciously found us a small room in the basement of what used to be called, St. Patrick's High School (now TRA). Every Thursday at noontime during the school year, we open our doors to the students. The donations are endless thankfully, and the 12 to 17 year old boys & girls(sec 1 to 5 ) are invited to come to our store. With the help of volunteers from our community, they can procure whatever they need for the low, low price of $1 per article. All proceeds go to the cafeteria where the kind people there can feed the children...no questions asked!
They say that when you give, you get more back than when you receive; I am proof of that. The satisfaction I get nourishes me and keeps me grounded...just like my mother must have felt some 65 years ago. Those beautiful young people actually choose to talk to me and even to share some of their secrets with me. I have become their confidant, a role I will enjoy as long as I can! I am a lucky girl!
